Happy, Dating, and Single

Hello World,

I love life right now.  I want to keep trying new things.  I plan on buying a new guitar, my last one had a huge gap between the fret board and the strings.  I have realized that ( I don't know how bad I am at this) people are annoyed by hearing people's problems and complaining about things that they have no control of.  I am going to work on it.  Don't focus on things you can't control.  I have really struggled with attaching my feelings of what people think of me to my mood.  If a girl I like says hi to me or invites me to an activity I am on cloud 9 but if not then I over think things, and am in a horrible mood.  That is not good, and it is not fair to me and the rest of the world.  What am I going to do about it?  I am not sure, I am going to just be happy, or try to be.  I wonder if my friend Allison reads this, if she does she should text be back that bum never responded to my last text.  I had an enjoyable night with Katy I think I named her, yeah...  I am now at work listening to John Bytheway in a talk called "Especially for Young Single Adults: Who, When, and Why We Marry."  I think I have a problem with being negative with me being single.  I don't think I should talk about it anymore.  I have so many thoughts going through my head right now.  School, dating, post graduate life.  I want to be more careful with my expressions of my affection, I met an amazing person who inspired me to be better.  A good quote is by Bruce C. Hafen "During the time of courtship, always be emotionally honest in the expression of affection. Sometimes you are not as careful as you might be about when, how, and to whom you express your feelings of affection." Today, I am going to be happy and go fishing.  Here is the talk I listened too and a good quote that was shared in the talk.

http://byutv.org/watch/4c051846-936f-46ff-873c-b384c562b7e2#ooid=w2bTlqMTrF8tLRQBL4ghq2LeKkiAvHMn

"Don't date someone you already know you would not ever want to marry.  If you fall in love with someone you should not marry, you can't expect the Lord to guide you away from that person after you are already emotionally committed."  Bruce C. Hafen

Hello world, today has been alright.  I had the hopes of spending time with what did I call her...Katie?  But its almost 10 and I don't think its going to happen, but such is life right??  I need to start figuring out something constructive to do.  I heard a great quote by Bill Cosby today "Don't talk yourself into not being you, at any time!"  I have learned with dating is to be yourself, all of the good things and all of the bad things.  Don't try and be anyone else.  If someone doesn't like you for who you are then sad them.  Dr. Seuss said something along the lines of, be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.  I want a spouse who doesn't mind me.  I have a great friend named Allison Hazzard, hopefully I will be able to visit her in Logan again before I start school again.  I can't wait to leave Rexburg, Its a great place and all but I want a change, I want to go and meet new people, try new things, and hopefully find a spouse in the process.  The way things are going with Katie, I don't think anything will happen.  She doesn't seem to make much of an effort to spend time with me.  I try to spend time with her but its just exhausting when she doesn't reciprocate trying to spend time with me.  I am thinking about moving for a while, just for a change.  Just keep swimming right? 

Blog Change!!

I guess I wanted to change the title and purpose of my blog.  I am thinking this will be more therapeutic for me than anything but I hope some good people stumble upon it.  My name is Braden Dennis, I am 24 almost 25, going to school at BYU Idaho, single, and a Mormon.  It seems like people in the Mormon culture get married between the ages of 18-23.  It feels like that is when people are supposed to get married at least.  I am almost 25 and its been kinda rough going through the process of still being single.  I assume there are others out there and I hope to reach them and know that they aren't the only ones, because sometimes that is what I feel.  I feel that many of my friends, former roommates, and the various people I have met at church are married.  I am still single.  I am writing this in my journal of happiness and single life.  Its hard but that is my goal.  I am going to document it and see how it goes.  I decided to do this because today 7/22/12 I felt that life finally caught up with me and punched me in the gut.  What happened?  I know you're dying to know, juicy gossip right?  I have been going on dates with a girl, lets call her Katie.  She is an amazing person, I felt a connection with her unlike anyone that I have ever dated.  We have moved slowly and just gotten to know each other (which has been totally fine with me).  I of course want to date her eventually but still progress.  It seems like our relationship has become stagnant.  I told her I wanted to go forward at what rate I don't care as long as I don't become that "Gay Friend" and let me define "Gay Friend" which is the guy friend that a girl tells all of her problems but has no chance whatsoever dating.  I don't want to become that guy.  She is almost 6 years younger than me but, very mature from what I can tell.  I am a very social person so if I don't talk to people, it does me damage.  I get lonely and think to myself that I am not wanted and well, I am hard on myself.  When I do activities I don't like doing them by myself at all, but some I don't mind. So what am I going to do?  I always feel better after I go running.  I want to try and start running  before I leave at work each morning at 7:20am.  I love doing things outside so that is a thing that makes me happy.   Here is a good quote about life by Randy Pausch “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

How to be happy:
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

I am going to do these things and be happy,  I will write about how its going.  Have a good day!!

― Randy Pausch

What to do, What to do?

I know I need to write more in this blog, I don't really do it in the hopes of having people read it but more to help me organize my thoughts and maybe help me figure out stuff.  I feel so incomplete at times.  I want to get away from Rexburg for a while.  I just need a break, but I also need to "find myself".  Right now I am in needs of an internship for either Winter semester or Spring semester.  Here are both of my plans

• Defer from school for winter semester. (If I don’t find an Internship) Consequences:
•  I will be kicked off of fast grad, but I can still take courses in the winter if I want but they have to be 300 level classes
• I will not graduate during the Fall of 2012 but Winter of 2013
• If I deferred Winter Semester I would then look for an internship for spring semester.
• I could then either stay in Logan for fall or go back to school.
• I don’t know where to live in Logan, and I really don’t have any money.  I could live with my grandparents though.
• Go to School here starting in January.  Consequences:
• I am not sure if my heart would be in it, I really don’t want to be here.
• My computer is dying and it would be hard to deal with it in some of my classes.
• I could still graduate in December 2012

So you can see my bind.  I want to make a list of things I hate and love about life now, why…because I can

·         Things I hate

o   Facebook- I hate this because I feel like I waste my life on it and if someone really wants to keep in touch with me they will do it in a more personal way than stalking me occasionally.

o   Texting- It’s so impersonal again; there is also so miscommunication and that fear when someone doesn’t text you back.

o   Watching TV-Its so easy to do!!!  I feel like it’s a lack of effort in working to do something entertaining. I feel like it does have its place but… it shouldn’t be very often.

o   Cute girls that I am too afraid to ask out on dates for the fear of being “creepy”- there was a nice cute girl that worked in the lost and found this past semester that I wanted to ask out but… its my fear that I hate.

o   Girls that I don’t feel like I can go after anymore.

o   A great girl that is on a mission, that I don’t know what I should do about.

o   My lack of smarts and lack of talents (they are not clearly visible to me, if I have any.)

o   My lack of organization, I feel like I can be slightly messy at times.

·         Things I love

o   Disney Music- who in their right mind doesn’t like Disney music!!

o   The feeling that I have when I get done with a long run!

o   Spending time with my friends!

o   Reading one of those addicting books!

o   Spending time with a good friend that I can truly just talk to.

o   Cast Iron pans J

o   Trying new things, and having new experiences.

o   To dress classy-like a nice colored shirt, and a nice tie, with some sweet slacks.

o   Aggie Ice Cream!

o   Meeting New people!

o   Having an extra monitor for when I work in Excel!

o   Excel!!

o   Disney Movies, I said I hate TV, but I do love Disney!!!

o   Talks!!!

o   Learning!!!

I think this is all I want to write today!! I want to make a bucket list for this upcoming year and maybe some plans for the next few years, what do you think??

Bah Bah Bahly Oxenfree....meh

“If all you know is what you see with your natural eyes and hear with your natural ears you will not know very much” – Pres. Boyd K. Packer (this was a quote in the last talk I heard and I like it)

I havn’t written in a while, its been too long.  I guess I just don’t make time for it.  Its been a rough day.  I had an accounting paper due in my intermediate financial accounting class, I skipped my business law class to do it, then well honestly I just didn’t feel like going to class.  I was frustrated so I needed to get some things out, so I dropped off my paper to a friend in the class and came back home.  I know the best way for me to feel better is to work.  I did all of the dishes in my apartment  (which there were way too many) cleaned up everything.  There was stuff that had been lying down on the ground for a few weeks, I don’t know why people can’t clean up after themselves in a timely manner.  During this whole time I was listening to talks, which also calms me down, or just makes me feel better.  I first started with the one by Elder Snow that was given at devotional last week, then went on to two by Elder Ballard that were given at BYU , and finally ended with one by Elder Bednar about discernment.  Girls….bah.  I am not sure if I am ever ready for a relationship.   Its always drama with dating, the whole thought pattern of…should I text her, should I wait, should I, Should I.  Its ridiculous!  I guess its not even always drama but just really annoying.  So lets just do an experiment, I just texted someone at 12:29pm and said “wanna go do devo”  I know texting is overrated and I should be more of a man and call her or whatever but I really don’t care.  Not at least right now.  I still need to take a shower and get dressed before devo but just procrastinating.  I can’t wait for track today, it will feel nice to run.  I enjoy it but they coaches have been having some problems with people not going to meets that sign up ( I am guilty of that once) so I might not go to the meets anymore.  I really want to see what the average response time is for people’s responses to my texts.  I could whip it up in excel do different time periods (as in morning, day time, and evening) to see if there is a big change in one of those.  See this girl that I was mentioning before is great, and really cute.  But sometimes I feel like its really one way.  She will generally do things that I will invite her to but won’t text me unless I text her and yeah….It gets annoying.  Its something that I am used to though, it happens to everyone…right??  Does anyone else hate people that are twitterpaited (how do you even spell that) always talking about why this person or that person is so great! Yeah maybe its just because I am single, but such is life right???

Institute!!!!!111

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCKiQciD0AUGreat Video About Institute!!!!!!  Watch it!!!!!!

Another Unskilled Morning

These last few days have been rather irritating, so first of all I am so unskilled at resolving problems.  Jake my roommate who  I do think is a great guy, is unskilled in remembering or being in the habit of cleaning up after himself.  So after a few days his stuff is everywhere, then about half of it will be cleaned up.  I don't understand why he feels so entitled to make the living room his bedroom. Well getting on to what I was really going to talk about, we kind of had an argument.  I had turned off the TV before I left, because it is rarely turned off so I just took it to myself to turn it off.  I should have asked him if he was going to continue to watch it.  I think that I am part of the problem with all of these arguments.  I have had one with two of my roommates.  I guess I don't think it was wrong that I asked him to clean up after himself, but I was very unskilled in the way I did it.  I am excited about next semester.  I am excited about meeting new people and having new experiences.  I am so grateful for this semester.  I have met a lot of great people, my Brazilian friends I would try and spell their names with out looking on facebook but I know I would butcher them well I will try, Vanessa, Tammi, Camilla, and Mayra are all great people! My FHE sisters are also great even though they prolly think I am less active, well at FHE at least, I have probably missed a few too many times, don't get me wrong, I like FHE most of the time but I just got busy.  I need to fix some things before next semester, try and figure out some things.  I am so excited about seeing some of my friends this upcoming year.  My friend Susie is coming back from Jerusalem.  As well as my friend Christine, who is an amazing woman.  Well I feel better now.  TTFN